~waxghost

Our apartment complex is home to many, many ducks and a few geese. We feed them cracked corn and sometimes rescue the tiny ducklings from storm drains, and they all love us for it.

But sadly, Bruce the goose was left behind today.

He's one of five goslings that was hatched and raised here. At first, we couldn't tell Bruce apart from his siblings - if you've ever seen Canada geese, you know they all basically look the same. But as he grew and his down was replaced by feathers, we saw that his left wingtip was deformed. It might be from a birth defect, or a close call with a hungry predator... whatever happened, we didn't think he'd be able to fly with his brothers and sisters when the time came. Since we could finally tell him apart, and suspected that he wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, we named him Bruce.

And then this morning, on the way home from a walk, Brad and I came across Bruce standing in one of the ponds, squawking sadly for any goose to answer him. It was heartbreaking. We knew this day would come but it still sucks. We went out to feed him in the afternoon and he rubbed his head on Brad's hand....

It is truly amazing what a new mouse can do, especially when you have been using tiny, crappy, sticky* computer mice with cords that always managed to figure out how to get caught underneath things for the last 4+ years. I don't have to lift it up and move it every 5 minutes to get it where I need it and I don't have to deal with it just not moving when I move it. It is a small miracle.

(*My last computer mouse was made with some kind of rubber that actually began to come off. Not just peel away - I could have dealt with that - but actually chemically break down, from what I could tell. Brad would always complain about how sticky my mouse was so I decided to try to wash it off, only to realize that all of my scrubbing was actually making even more stickiness come off of the "rubber". Ew.)

Also, I've been trying out a new way of naming things for awhile now. Basically, I just name my pictures whatever comes to mind first. It's as close to surrealism as I will probably ever get. But I'm enjoying the insights into my own psyche, and I hope anyone who actually pays attention to my stuff is too.

That said, I think I need to start a 'group' on here somehow that actually, you know, looks at and critiques people's art. Maybe we could actually be serious about art, and try to counteract all of the pointless comments by actually saying something meaningful. Then again, I wonder how many people I could actually get to do it....

Went to the zoo this morning. It was actually quite refreshing. The endless cycle of storms has kept me indoors way too much and has started to make me stir-crazy. I even refrained from bringing my camera so that I could mindlessly enjoy not thinking about work for a little while and the bright sunshine. My favorites, ever since taking a class that was all about primates, are the chimps and monkeys. I just love how simple they are.... People can be so complicated.

I don't understand why anyone would think that zoos are an appropriate place for kids, though. Unless they're the exhibit.

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But I've got developed film waiting for me at my local fancy developing place, and am sure to take more on Friday.

I actually have a really nice, new camera bag too. The unforeseen benefit of my sister-in-law taking up photography is that I get all of her leftovers, which are usually ten times nicer than anything I have or would ever buy for myself or even ask for. My hand-me-downs include the one film camera I have that still works, a small bag that fits it and a ton of film, and now a bag the size of a backpack that is brand new but wouldn't fit her very expensive new lens.

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In weirder news, someone from my high school called one of my aunts recently, trying to contact me about a class reunion. I can't even imagine why they would think I would ever go, since I hated every second I was in that place and couldn't wait to leave (my favorite thing about graduation was that our song was Green Day's "Good Riddance", which I found very fitting). I never fit in there. I was much too weird.

And yet I have this morbid curiosity about all those losers.... whose biggest accomplishments (from a quick survey of MySpace awhile ago) seems to be having more kids and digging even deeper into their patheticness. Oh, I know, it's mean, but I can't imagine the reunion being anything but rehashing of how many kids everyone has, who is already divorced because they were stupid enough to marry straight out of high school, and who is miserable but acting as much as they can like everything is fine. If my little clique of weird friends was guaranteed to be there, I might consider, but the majority of them weren't even in my grade. Yep, you guessed it, I went to one of those tiny country high schools that's not worth mentioning.... and now I feel silly for doing just that.

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Um, as if I haven't rambled enough already: is anyone else having problems with changing the mood on their journal entries?

I knew I was forgetting some pictures that I had wanted to put up, and I finally found them the other day while looking through my computer for whatever reason I had to do that. Ever since the end of the semester, I have been idly taking pictures with both cameras (digital and film - haven't got the film developed yet though) whether I thought they would be entirely successful or not. Of course, several of them were, so I'm going to put those up soon.

Life's been a bit crazy lately. Found work that is, actually, a lot better than what I was doing before - more flexible, more interesting, better co-workers, etc. So as always, the universe looks kindly on me when I need it most. But I am still trying to adjust to the new 'schedule' and keep up with the record label work at the same time. Plus, I've been hanging out with Brad's family a lot more, writing songs, baking bread, playing Wii, trying to work on two different novel ideas, and a million other little things. Exhausting but all worth it!

Not much to say, but I wanted to update just so I wouldn't have that kind of depressing last entry on front page of my profile anymore. Things are actually not bad, considering. We're trying to think of new jobs, ways to get the label to pay more, and ways to cut back as much as possible. I'm baking a bunch of bread right now and we're thinking up new jobs we can do to help out my in-laws, who are horribly overworked already. I'm scared but I'm optimistic too, and the latter is outweighing the former a little more each day.